Nothing Really?

I feel like it's been forever since my last post, but it hasn't even been 1 week. I think that it's because I'm over due on reflecting and just letting go. My mind has been racing lately and I've been over analyzing and worrying too much, thus the need to come here more to just let it go. I hate the feeling of not being able to shut my mind off and just relax. But, as I would make my way to the computer and think about what to write....I had nothing. Well, nothing that seemed worth writing about I guess. Really though? With all the stuff that moves through my mind I couldn't think of something to write? Well not entirely. I just wanted it to be something worth while especially if others are reading this. But, then I thought about it and realized that sometimes writing down all those "nothings" can really affect my "everything." My well being, my sleep, my energy, and the people around me.
So what is on my mind? Well, I went to the doc today in hopes to finally get the packing removed from my arm pit. I've had to have it removed and re-inserted 3 times this past week so I was not going to be surprised if he told me that it needed to be done again. I've adapted to it to some degree and as it's healing, it's been easier to handle. And, I would much rather take the packing over needing stronger antibiotics that prevent me from nursing (just another thing that I've been stressing might happen if this thing doesn't heal). Lucky for me, he removed it and said it could stay out. Woohoo! That's what I wanted to hear. One little thing that I'm not jumping up and down for is the care I have to do until this thing is completely healed. A warning: What you are about to read is not for weak stomachs. I now have to wipe the area around the hole with betadine and then stick the blunt end of the swab into the hole to keep it open until it completely closes itself during the healing process. Well, I can tell you that I am not going to be doing that! Dave is! It doesn't even really hurt to have done, but the thought makes me weak. I know, I know, again here I am this "can handle just about anything" nurse, but "cannot handle just about anything" patient.
I also haven't made it to the gym, but once this past week because of the abcess. O.K. that right there may have something to do with all this worry that I've been doing. I just had an "ah ha" moment! Duh! (notice how I went from Oprah "ah ha" to "duh" Charlie Sheen, wow, haha) Going to the gym must really help me to relax more, sleep better, and have more energy. I mean, I knew that, but didn't realize till I missed the gym over this past week just how much it helps me in so many ways. It's not just writing on here that helps, but also working out. Tonight we turn our clocks ahead, but I am bound and determined to wake up early and get a workout in regardless of how tired I may be. I need it!
I am already feeling some relief. Just taking the time to reflect on a couple of the things that are on my mind has helped me process it all one sentence at a time without the constant interruption of the many other things I also think about.

Cute Moment: We bought rock band for our Play Station 2 from a good friend of mine and Mason was so very excited to play it. When it was all set up and we all had our instruments, Dave on guitar, me on mic, Lilah on drums, and Mason on the other guitar. You should have seen Mason rock! He didn't have a care in the world and was boppin his head up and down and shakin his hips in perfect rhythm! He was in the zone and truly a natural!

Miss Lilah, my little shoe lover was pulling out stickers from her Mickey Mouse coloring book and came across a Minnie Mouse high heel shoe sticker. She put the sticker on the floor and puts her foot on top of it as if to try on the much smaller sticker on and says "Look at the shoe mom!" I said "Cool!" and she says "No....it's cute mom." Well then!