As an honest person, I will say that nothing in this world is perfect. Most of us realize this and learn from mistakes made in the past. I have had an up and down, total roller coaster ride marriage. From the people that I do open up to about this fact of my life, I have realized that no-one has a continuous "fairy tale" marriage. It is a lot of work and sometimes a lot of heartache. But, there is a reason that we choose to work at it, plain and simply, because of the rush we get when we go down the huge hill on the roller coaster. It's a blast and completely worth the up hill climb. But, if you lose hope on the way up, you may never be able to enjoy the excitement of the fall.
So, one thing that has been lacking is our romance & spice, something that we used to take pride in. For myself, I don't really realize how big of a deal the intimacy is until we actually have some. Then, you sit back and think, why don't we do that more often. "Life happens." You work full time, have bills to manage, and 3 kids to care for. But, why don't we care for our most personal relationships as well as we do the other people or things in our life. I am still trying to figure this out myself. I can come up with a lot of excuses, but in the end, those excuses are really not good reasons to neglect the need that really does help keep our relationship happy. It's like a plant. Without water, it will not live. How do we expect our relationship to survive without the care that it truly does need.
One big problem for me is the spark inside has dwindled. Some say the hormones shift after baby, some say it's cause life is exhausting, and others will say a booked schedule leaves no time. No doubt that some of these things do play a major part in contributing to the lack of intimacy, but I won't accept that as a final rationale for totally excluding this important connection we all need.
Finally, I have found the person that left me about 6 years ago, coincidentally the same time I got married. She does still exist deep down inside me! Thanks to 50 Shades of Grey, that spark has finally ignited to a flame. I know, I know, there are people out there who refuse to read it for their own beliefs and that's ok, but, for me, this book has literally brought back the woman that I had lost. I have never read a romance/erotic book before, nor had I been interested in it, but couldn't get away from all the hype. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Once I started, I couldn't put the book down. My internal being was awoke and reminded of the times when keeping my flame lit didn't take adjusting of my busy schedule. I have read many self help books and took all the advice that was offered on bringing the spark back, but none of them were natural. It was as if I was doing a homework assignment rather than letting myself truly be in the moment. For me, the best intimacy needs no instructions. It just happens without too much thought. Books are not always meant to teach a lesson. Some are meant to be enjoyed. Sometimes you just want to stop over thinking things and let yourself get lost in. That is what this book does, but to another level. And, in the end you really do learn something valuable. You learn that you can still have the romance and excitement that you once had. To me, that means more than anything, especially when you are on the up hill climb of the roller coaster, just wanting so badly to glide down the hill.
