I often think back to my life growing up and think about how lucky I am to be where I am now. Don't get me wrong, there are people who had a much rougher childhood, but when I think of the many obstacles I faced, it makes me grateful that I made choices that have brought much happiness my way. I am however, aware that at anytime this could all change and that makes me even more thankful of today. I mean, it happens all the time and more so, it seems, the older we get. More people die, awful diseases strike those dear to us, and tragedies can come out of nowhere. That is why when thinking of the days that we call "bad days" I try to remind myself that things could certainly be worse which helps put things in perspective.
Growing up, my parents separated when I was around 4-5 yo and by age 6 were divorced. I have one memory of them together, the rest is separate memories with each of them. I always say that because I was so little, their divorce didn't really impact me because my memories of them together were scant to say the least. I imagine that had I been old enough or remembered them being together and loving each other, I likely would have had a more difficult time with it. In talking to my mom, she says the years prior to their separation were brutal and downright depressing. Now looking at my kids, I see how much their environment impacts their behavior. I suppose that even if my memory of that time isn't vivid, I likely was significantly shaped by it. Understanding how this shift in my young life changed me is hard to know because I have no recollection of their bad times. I'm glad that they made the decision to divorce when they did. I don't know of one person who likes to watch someone close to them argue or fight and having to prolong something that was inevitable would surely have molded who I became differently.
Custody between them was pretty much split evenly, especially as my sister and I grew older. My dad has always been a very caring and kind dad and really taught us about morals and God. My mom was sweet and open minded and taught us to be kind to everyone, especially kids who didn't have any friends. There wasn't a lot of structure in either home. Dad's place was packed full of auction & garage sale items. We watched the few channels that came in on a black & white tv. He let us stay up later than we should've and always read us a book before bed and said a bedtime prayer. Mom worked a lot and thus was exhausted when coming home with little energy to enforce rules. She trusted us too which was a big part of why rules weren't a huge thing. Neither home had much money. As a matter of fact, many times we were lucky to have milk or bread. Whatever money mom had, went straight to bills and constantly fixing her beater car. She always tried to get us new shoes and a few outfits before school started. Besides that, we didn't get much extras and even school sports were something that would have to wait until I was older and had my own job. It didn't bother me though. I hoped that I'd get hand-me-downs so I could increase my small wardrobe because to me, it was as good as a new outfit. Most of my worries were about making sure my sister and brother were happy. I remember when my brother's hair would get so long, it would almost cover his ears. I would take our cheap scissors and give him a haircut, only to get stopped before finishing because I always seemed to nick him! Still makes me chuckle thinking about it!
I had a step dad who was mostly in prison or jail and when out, he would sneak into my mom's purse and take her money or car keys right in front of my sister and I. He's done so many things to my mom and us that were selfish and wrong. I would hide my money because he would be sure to take it if not. I could write a book about those things that were never ending, but he really isn't worth talking about. Lets just say I learned what a scam artist was at an early age.
I've always looked at the situations that I've been in or seen as an opportunity to grow and learn from. From an early age, my gut strongly told me what was right and what was wrong. You have to take the moments in life that don't go as planned and stay true to yourself and your values. Do not let what happened to you, define you. I learned as I was growing up, that there are things that I don't want to do when I get older. Because of some of the things I dealt with, I grew up to be more empathetic to people who struggle daily with the choices that they are faced with. Life does not always goes as we expect. In those times, how we deal with it is more important than the situation itself.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Tomorrow's Another Day
Stressed is a mild word for what life has been like lately. I've been through worse, but really it has been a couple weeks of little sleep and a mind that doesn't turn off. It's those everyday stresses that are bound to happen, but you just don't expect them to all come at once. Although I guess that's where the saying "when it rains, it pours" came about.
It all started about 4 weeks ago, when my son started the week with a fever and complained of a sore throat. Since his tonsil and adenoid surgery was just a little over a week away, I figured we'd better bring him in sooner than later to make sure he was well for his surgery. Funny thing is, he was scheduled to have this surgery in November, but 2 days before, he developed his first case of strep and was still not up to par to push surgery on an already run down body. So, when I brought him in this time, I was a bit surprised when they said he had strep once again. Was this a sign that maybe we shouldn't have the surgery? After all, hos need for surgery wasn't due to on-going infections like most who have their tonsils and adenoids out, but instead it was the excessive snoring and choking on his tongue that was concern enough to consult with ENT. Surprise, surprise, just like his sister, he also had quite enlarged glands, and thus it was recommended that they be taken out. Luckily this time he was diagnosed with strep, we had plenty of days to complete his antibiotics before surgery. Of course, when one has a sore throat, we all start developing phantom symptoms that make us wonder if we too had it. So, each of us were swabbed and luckily all came back negative.
Fast forward 2 days, and the luck was no longer on our side. My girls rapidly developed increased irritability, worsening colds, & runny noses and I was sure they both had ear infections at the very least. You would think as a mother, my husband would trust my gut on when to take the kids to the doctor, but no. Then, maybe, just maybe, the fact that I've been a nurse for 9 years would also give me some credit for my judgement and assessment, but nope, not one bit. I was not surprised when the first words out of his mouth when I told him I had made the girls a doctor appointment was, "Why? They just have colds." I made a bet with him that I would be bringing the girls home with at least one diagnosis of ear infection and if I was right, my winnings would be the oh so sweet words of "You were right." The next day I bundled the girls up and made my way back to the clinic for the 3rd time in 3 days secretly hoping I would lose that bet, but knowing deep down that I wouldn't. We made our way to the exam room and after a thorough history of the days that lead up to our visit, his otoscope showed the doctor what I anticipated...Lilah has double ear infection and Brinlee had one ear infected. After further evaluation and tests, Lilah also had bronchitis and Brinlee had RSV. Now, the only RSV I'm used to seeing is the little ones who are admitted to the hospital, so I was very relieved to know that I could treat her at home as long as she didn't progressively get worse. Whew! We made our way out of the clinic and I could barely wait to whip my phone out to call Dave with the update. They took their time recovering and just when they finally turned the corner, Mason was preparing for surgery.
Prior to the day, we tried to prepare him as best as we could for a 4 yo. We told him that we had to go to the doctor to get his throat fixed like Lilah, but obviously he didn't quite understand what that meant. He just kept worrying about whether he was getting a shot or not. I thought, a shot would be much better exchange than a constant sore throat and pain, but tried to be as optimistic as possible without lying to him. When the day arrived, Mason had preferred to sleep in a little longer than wake up to go to the hospital, after all he is my kid! After slowly getting ready (again, he is my kid), we headed to the hospital, where Mason was all smiles and thumbs up. He even does this thumbs up thing where he clicks his tongue and gives a big wink. Such a nice boy! Following surgery, his thumbs up turned to nods of yes or no since the pain prevented him from talking. We made it home shortly after and he had a fast and uneventful recovery.
As Valentines Day approached, we were past due and more than ready for a date night out. Reservations were made and my mouth watered with the thought of the buttery smooth fillet minion soon to be in my mouth. I was at work that day and checked in with Dave on my lunch break. Unfortunately, the call wouldn't be my last. Reservations needed to be canceled, as Lilah had been throwing up all day. I felt so bad for her. Nobody likes to throw up, but as a 3 yo it has to be worse. She was so good though. She remained pale and pretty much out of it, but right before she puked, she would pop up and say ever so matter of factly, "where's the bucket?" Little linen needed to be changed and by the following day, Lilah was feeling well again.
had envisioned to be devoted to only caring for Mason. But, life is not always easy. Challenges will be faced and it's in those moments that we have an opportunity to step up and do the right thing. I can say that I was very pleased to be united with my co-workers or as I like to call them, my "work family." They trusted us to come up with as best of a schedule as possible. It's times when the emotions are about to burst, that I take a deep breath and realize that this too shall past and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The light for me and my friend/co-worker who helped build the schedule will be an overdue spa day. Most of the time, it's us who are responsible for creating the light at the end of the tunnel.
It all started about 4 weeks ago, when my son started the week with a fever and complained of a sore throat. Since his tonsil and adenoid surgery was just a little over a week away, I figured we'd better bring him in sooner than later to make sure he was well for his surgery. Funny thing is, he was scheduled to have this surgery in November, but 2 days before, he developed his first case of strep and was still not up to par to push surgery on an already run down body. So, when I brought him in this time, I was a bit surprised when they said he had strep once again. Was this a sign that maybe we shouldn't have the surgery? After all, hos need for surgery wasn't due to on-going infections like most who have their tonsils and adenoids out, but instead it was the excessive snoring and choking on his tongue that was concern enough to consult with ENT. Surprise, surprise, just like his sister, he also had quite enlarged glands, and thus it was recommended that they be taken out. Luckily this time he was diagnosed with strep, we had plenty of days to complete his antibiotics before surgery. Of course, when one has a sore throat, we all start developing phantom symptoms that make us wonder if we too had it. So, each of us were swabbed and luckily all came back negative.
Fast forward 2 days, and the luck was no longer on our side. My girls rapidly developed increased irritability, worsening colds, & runny noses and I was sure they both had ear infections at the very least. You would think as a mother, my husband would trust my gut on when to take the kids to the doctor, but no. Then, maybe, just maybe, the fact that I've been a nurse for 9 years would also give me some credit for my judgement and assessment, but nope, not one bit. I was not surprised when the first words out of his mouth when I told him I had made the girls a doctor appointment was, "Why? They just have colds." I made a bet with him that I would be bringing the girls home with at least one diagnosis of ear infection and if I was right, my winnings would be the oh so sweet words of "You were right." The next day I bundled the girls up and made my way back to the clinic for the 3rd time in 3 days secretly hoping I would lose that bet, but knowing deep down that I wouldn't. We made our way to the exam room and after a thorough history of the days that lead up to our visit, his otoscope showed the doctor what I anticipated...Lilah has double ear infection and Brinlee had one ear infected. After further evaluation and tests, Lilah also had bronchitis and Brinlee had RSV. Now, the only RSV I'm used to seeing is the little ones who are admitted to the hospital, so I was very relieved to know that I could treat her at home as long as she didn't progressively get worse. Whew! We made our way out of the clinic and I could barely wait to whip my phone out to call Dave with the update. They took their time recovering and just when they finally turned the corner, Mason was preparing for surgery.
Prior to the day, we tried to prepare him as best as we could for a 4 yo. We told him that we had to go to the doctor to get his throat fixed like Lilah, but obviously he didn't quite understand what that meant. He just kept worrying about whether he was getting a shot or not. I thought, a shot would be much better exchange than a constant sore throat and pain, but tried to be as optimistic as possible without lying to him. When the day arrived, Mason had preferred to sleep in a little longer than wake up to go to the hospital, after all he is my kid! After slowly getting ready (again, he is my kid), we headed to the hospital, where Mason was all smiles and thumbs up. He even does this thumbs up thing where he clicks his tongue and gives a big wink. Such a nice boy! Following surgery, his thumbs up turned to nods of yes or no since the pain prevented him from talking. We made it home shortly after and he had a fast and uneventful recovery.
As Valentines Day approached, we were past due and more than ready for a date night out. Reservations were made and my mouth watered with the thought of the buttery smooth fillet minion soon to be in my mouth. I was at work that day and checked in with Dave on my lunch break. Unfortunately, the call wouldn't be my last. Reservations needed to be canceled, as Lilah had been throwing up all day. I felt so bad for her. Nobody likes to throw up, but as a 3 yo it has to be worse. She was so good though. She remained pale and pretty much out of it, but right before she puked, she would pop up and say ever so matter of factly, "where's the bucket?" Little linen needed to be changed and by the following day, Lilah was feeling well again.
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