Time-out

Time is such a precious thing. We all know it. There is never enough of it. We all know the saying, "if I could just go back in time." As for me, well I am no different. I just want more time to do the little things that add up to be really good memories. I think a lot of my problem with not having enough time is making a conscious decision or an effort into prioritizing the things that really matter to me. There are definitely moments that my time could be spent doing much more important things, but I am stuck in this subconscious routine of just doing whatever and at the end of the day I find that I am not satisfied.
I want more. I want more time. The thing is, I have to figure out how to make the best of the time I have. Isn't that what we are all wanting to do? Cherish the moment, seize the day. But as a fast paced society, little time is spent on being mindful and present of the moment. We just go, go, go. Never really absorbing what it is we are doing.
My kids and husband are top priority. We know just how fast time flys when we watch our kids grow. This is something that really puts time into perspective, next to death of course. Kids really make you stop and think about "where the time has gone" or "when in the world did you get so big!" I have major guilt over the lack of time we all have together. Sure, we cuddle, say endless "I love yous," read bedtime stories, say prayers, and praise every little positive moment, but when it comes to the quality and length of time, I need to step up. This is a time I can never get back and I need to make the most of it. It's the everyday routines or habits, if you will, that stop the quality moments from happening. Whether it be cleaning, answering my phone, checking my email, my facebook, there seems to always be something. I seem to have a never ending agenda of things that really come no where near my top priority. My kids absolutely love the moments when we play together. And you know what else? They actually are better behaved when there are more moments like this.
My husband too. He wants more "us" time. More alone time. But, like most every married couple, we take for granted the fact that there is always tomorrow. I have a co-worker who is one of the nicest people I know. Her husband was having pain in his legs and shortness of breath, so he went to the ER to get treated and within a matter of hours was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He's in his 50's. Un-imaginable. One day life is going on as it always does and the next, you are faced with decisions and feelings that nobody should ever have to face. This couple is filled with love and faith throughout it all. It's those life changing stories that put a halt to my normalcy and really makes me evaluate what I need to change. It's the little sparks of love notes, a peck on the lips in passing, holding hands on a walk that turn into beautiful fireworks.
My friends and family are very dear to me. There is certainly not enough time spent with them. Even a couple hours out of my day to call or have coffee with can make such a difference. I wish there was an extra day in a week for friends and family time. They are there when I need a shoulder to cry on or make me laugh until I cry! Yet, finding a time when our schedules aline seems near impossible.
Since these are my real valuables, I need to figure out how I can cherish them more. Delegating things to Dave, such as making phone calls and appointments will help. Taking some of the control out of every little detail that really don't need to be done by only me can make a difference. Keeping a calender up to date with activities, times, and locations will put my mind at ease and decrease my time spent searching for the paper that I wrote the important notes on. Cleaning 15 minutes a day so I don't spend an ENTIRE day and evening scrubbing the house. Dedicating a full hour to the kids of activities we can do together and writing it down the night before so I am held accountable for this time like I would for any other important activity that comes. Making sure that Dave and I schedule date nights at least once per month and dedicate daily quiet time with no tv, kids, phones, or any other distractions that may come up so that we can really be present in the moment and devote the time to each other so he knows that I value his presence and conversation.
It's really up to me to make sure that these moments are treasured. I need to be accountable and make a big effort to change the daily un-engaged "habits" which is essentially my life. As time goes on, these changes will hopefully be my normal and not something that I even think about because it will be the newer and happier me!