Drama-rama

     One thing I never wanted to write about on here was drama. I believe that drama creates a negative pit. A pit that is shallow and easy to slip into because it is so shallow. It stares back at you so readily wanting you to take a step.
     I always used to refer to myself as a dramatic person, you know the kind of person that got a little more emotional about things. The kind of person who let my feelings show without hesitation. But the more I see true "drama" I realize that the word dramatic wasn't the meaning I was really trying to get across.The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the word I should have used was passionate. And lets face it, passionate sounds sooo much better than dramatic. Sure I may over react at times with my emotions, but I'd like to think that I try to keep them mostly control. It may just be that I have a different way of showing emotions, a less reserved way. I am getting off track though. My reason for picking this topic is because sometimes life brings you drama. You see, I for some reason have been pulled into the ugly pit of drama. The type of drama that creates very devastating, frustrating, and maddening feelings. It's something that I truly try to avoid. I always thought that everyone tried to avoid such a type of drama, but the older I get, the more I realize that there are all kinds of people out there.     
      Its hard to believe that I have gotten pulled into this kindof crap. I bet you are wondering what in the world I am talking about. But, going into detail would only create more drama and that is certainly not what I want to do. I do want to say that in the end of all the harsh words shot my way, I was furious and wanted so badly to respond. I had my defenses up and was truly armed and ready to throw back at a battle I thought for sure I would win. Had it not been for my wonderful family and friends who let me vent over the next 2 hours, I just may have fired back in immense furry. Thankfully though, that time that I had venting, I was able to let that fire inside of me to dwindle. No it's not completely extinguished, but I am at peace with my decision to hold my ammunition and not fire. In my eyes I can look back at the situation and know that I didn't say things that I may regret. I am now better prepared for if these flames erupt again as I have had time to stop, reflect, and pray.
     I have found that the older I get, the easier it is for me to handle peoples' misconceptions directly rather than let the person continue to talk about me behind my back. My heart almost always pounds right out of my chest when I face these people head on, but the relief I feel afterwards is so very worth it. You know why? Because almost always there is clarity and peace instead of tension and confusion. And if there is not any clarity or peace, then maybe the relationship just isn't meant to be and that is ok too. After all, we cannot change anybody. We can only change how we react to them.